Well, on this occasion, I will confess to cheating, for I am not writing about the first tweet I saw, but rather, the first I saw where I felt vaguely qualified to actually write something.

‘How long does it take to style your hair in the morning?’

My preferred haircut is a number two all over. This is a very short haircut, and I like it short, because then I don’t have to do anything with it. When I hair grows out, I find it to be annoying. I often consider my hair to be my worst feature. I cannot style it in any way or form that looks good. Therefore, I deny my hair battle completely.

Sometimes, I will aim for a ‘short and spiky’ look, which in my younger days, I was able to pull off, from time to time. Most of the time, I have it shaved, though I will confess that the process of a haircut is not as satisfying with this savage cut. One of the most enjoyable experiences at a barbers was on my wedding day, when my hair was a bit longer, and I went through the full range of the experience. I had a haircut, a proper wet shave, and even had my ears cleaned. I did it again before a job interview with a particularly high-brow London retail store.

However, as pleasing as such experiences are, the greater reward is in saving time. The convenience of having short hair outweighs the downsides (such as a cold head in winter). Also, short hair helps hide the grey hair!