Write about your most epic baking or cooking fail.

This ‘kat has a couple of examples of some spectacular cookery cock-ups. They’re not necessarily what some would consider culinary catastrophes, but for me, they most certainly are.

First up, there was the ‘nearly taking my eyebrows off using the grill’ moment. I fancied a bacon sandwich, and I was using my parents’ gas-powered grill at the time, so I turned on the gas, as one does… and then paused for a few seconds before igniting it. Why I paused, I have no idea. The whoosh of flame that left my face rather tingly and warm has since become a potent memory, powerful enough to put me off using a gas grill! We have an electric oven in our house, so I can’t easily repeat that particular mishap.

The second epic food fail involves the microwave. The humble, simple-to-use microwave, and as before, this was when I was living with my folks. They had a digital microwave, so you could program your desired time. When heating up my wheat biscuits in the microwave (I like them with hot milk), I found that the sweet spot was one minute and ten seconds. For me, that was perfect. What wasn’t so perfect was programming the microwave whilst being absent-minded, and not paying attention. I set the timer, went back to whatever I was doing on the computer, and after a few minutes, realised the microwave was still on. Eeep.

I went back to discover a wheat biscuit volcano. It transpired I’d set the microwave for 11 minutes, and it was roughly halfway through this nuclear exchange. The contents of the bowl were starting to erupt, such was their lava-like state. The whole display was so impressive that I called up a friend, to share in the tale of how I nearly created new, hot, wheaty life in the microwave. Yes, I did clean up after myself.

So, there you have it. Food-related failures. There’s quite possibly more, but those are the two that stand out most in my mind.