It is with great pride that I represent the tiny (and fictional) nation of Meerkovia in the Blogger Games. The venue is the beautiful land of the Captain’s Speech, famous for its broccoli smoothies and rocks shaped like goats.
For the opening week, Paul, the benevolent dictator of the Captain’s Speech, has set a quiz. Let’s see if Meerkovia can pick up any medals?!
1. At which restaurant did the waiter pour ice cubes down my back?
A) Red Lobster
B) Pizza Hut
C) Swiss Chalet
D) The Cheesecake Factory
That’s what I call cool service! I’m guessing… A: Red Lobster.
2. Which of the following fell out the bottom of a takeout container and onto the sidewalk?
B) Noodles and Honey Garlic Chicken
C) Burger and Fries
D) Chicken Noodle Soup
Hmm… noodles tend to be somewhat moist (there’s a great word, ‘moist’). If contained in a card-based carton, I can imagine said carton bowing and then collapsing. Therefore my scientific answer is B.
3. Which condiment would I never put on a hotdog?
D) Hot Peppers
Well, I don’t class peppers as a condiment so this is a trick question with only three possible answers. Since Paul is a smart, sensible fellow, I’m saying C.
4. Which is my favourite donut chain?
A) Krispy Kreme
B) Tim Hortons
C) Coffee Time
D) Country Style
The only one of these I am remotely familiar with is Krispy Kreme. For donuts we tend to drift to Greggs in the UK, or we go for the seaside fresh ultra sugary donuts, and I am drooling now. I really want a donut.
A is my answer, if only because I don’t know the others.
5. As a kid, I would make a “Saturday Night Drink” that consisted of: ice, lemon slices, and which soft drink?
A) Ginger Ale
D) Diet Pepsi
Ooooooh… what’s more refreshing than a lemonade on a hot day?! B.
6. Where did I eat watermelon for the first time?
A) After my softball game
B) Field Trip
C) Friend’s Birthday
D) In the street playing road hockey (snack break)
Given Paul’s love of all things hockey, I’m going with D.
7. Which food did I mispronounce to a cafeteria worker at school?
A) Rhubarb Pie
B) Provolone Cheese
D) Potato Wedges
Hmm… Falafel can be a tongue twister. I can imagine provolone cheese becoming ‘lonely cheese’. Or ‘love cheese’. Therefore, B.
8. Which dessert did I drop on the floor at a buffet?
C) Ice Cream
D) Lemon Bar
Losing any dessert is a tragic moment. Friends and family gather to say goodbye before it is scooped delicately into the nearest bin. The worst to lose would be ice cream, for no part is salvageable. Therefore, C.
9. Which of the following cereals have I never had?
A) Cinnamon Toast Crunch
B) Corn Flakes
D) Rice Krispies
Because EVERYONE has had cornflakes, Paul hasn’t. B.
10. When I got braces, which food did I start cutting in half before eating?
C) French Fries
B. Because grapes have skin that can get caught in braces and cause all kinds of chaos. They then ferment into wine in your mouth and get you drunk.
Your Turn To Share
This part won’t be marked.
Tell me about you and food. What do you like to eat? What don’t you like to eat? What foods are overrated? What condiments do you stay away from? Any fun food stories from your past?
There are a number of foods – some healthy, others not – that I love. Bananas and apples, strawberries, grapes, carrots, spinach, they all fall on the healthy spectrum of what I like (in fact, I like a great many fruits). A lot of vegetables are edible without being exciting, such as broccoli and cauliflower. I’ll eat them, but there’s no wow factor there.
I do like chocolate, and ice cream, and also things like digestive biscuits, shortbread, and a variety of sweets. On the savoury front, cheese savouries (aka cheesy nibbles, that I once called cheesy nipples by mistake) are addictive, bacon is beautiful and crunchy peanut butter is glorious. Do not come at me with smooth peanut butter. It’s not remotely the same.
Things like roast lamb/pork/beef are, when cooked right, absolutely wonderful, especially with mint sauce or apple sauce. A bit of crackling with the pork – oh yeah! Sometimes you can’t beat a roast dinner. Other times, fish and chips from a chip shop are all I can think about.
What I don’t like are mushrooms. In fact, I despise mushrooms. They look weird. They feel slimy. They smell awful and they taste disgusting. They have no redeemable features of any kind. I must also break with British tradition and say that baked beans should be destroyed, along with sweetcorn. Tomatoes are another foodstuff I avoid, with the exception of ketchup and the puree stuff on pizza. Coconut is a flavour I find odd and don’t enjoy.
Beyond that, I can’t think of any further food fun!