Picture the scene. You have new neighbours, and your parents have invited them round for a drink, in order to get to know them. You though, you have been out with friends, had a few drinks of your own, and let’s say that you’re a bit merry. You come home, still quite merry, and you spot some snacky food on the coffee table.

All quite conventional so far, right? Well, this is where, in the blink of an eye, it goes horribly, embarrassingly wrong. In a state of semi-drunk exuberance, you point to some cheesy savouries, and blurt out ‘pass the cheesy nipples!’

You immediately gasp, astonished and dismayed with yourself. Your parents burst out laughing, and your new neighbours are quite entertained too. It is an epically red-faced moment, and one that they will not let you forget, not ever. Aaaaaaaaah.

Whilst not as embarrassing, imagine that you fail to realise you’ve even told a joke. You’re standing in the kitchen with your partner, holding a frozen leg of lamb. You hold it up, and refer to it as a ‘battering ram’, because it’s pretty solid, and probably could knock down a door. Your partner starts to laugh, and laugh hard, and you’re standing there, bewildered, because you haven’t made the connection between ‘lamb’ and ‘ram’. That of course, makes things even funnier to your partner.

I’m sure I can list other funny moments to have happened to me, in fact I know I can, though the extent to which I self-humiliate myself… well, how far down that rabbit hole do I want to go?!

Oh go on, one more. We were in Scotland for a wedding, and I was about to head out to go canyoning. As I’m about to head out the door, my wife has turned me, and said something along the lines of ‘kiss me now, you brave warrior!’ In my rush to meet her request, I tripped, and fell up a small set of steps. It was an epic fail, and needless to say, she found it hilarious.

That’s it, no more tales of self-inflicted mirth, at least for now.