Writing Prompts: Comfort in Sexuality

Am I comfortable with my sexuality? That’s a question with an easy answer: yes. I am a heterosexual man, and secure in that. I am at ease in the company of people occupying different parts of the sexuality spectrum, and do not feel threatened by expressions of love or affection from anyone.

Some people get very uptight about say, two men or two women holding hands (much less doing anything else). What is regarded as perfectly normal for a heterosexual couple to do (such as a quick kiss before jumping in the car to go to work) is met with scorn and anger if a same-sex couple dares to do likewise. For some reason, this is deeply troubling to some, and I can only presume this is down to a lack of security in their own sexual identity. Are they repulsed by two men kissing, or secretly worried they might be aroused by such an act? Do they preach fire and brimstone at lesbian couples, only to go home, fire up the Hub, and search for lesbian ‘love’?

It is not without irony that some of the most vocal anti-LGBT agents often end up coming out – or accidentally outing themselves – at some point or another. They preach so much hate, so much condemnation, and maybe that speaks to a deep-seated insecurity in their identity? They never learned to be comfortable in their own skin. Perhaps they were taught/forced to hate their true selves, or felt afraid to be who they actually are. All of that manifested itself as rage. Internalised loathing never leads anywhere good.

If you’re secure in your sexuality, then the existence of same-sex relationships and the LGBT community should hold no fear or resentment to any prudent person. Their relationships do not affect me, and I would be flattered if I were complimented by a gay man. If that makes you uncomfortable, I would submit you are quite insecure about yourself.

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