Ah Paul. Captain, my Captain. As always, the wonderfully creative blogger has come up with questionnaire gold. Would this meerkat be up to the task of unravelling his fiendish and challenging quiz?

Would I ever!

1. You and a stranger are stuck in an elevator for three hours. After how many minutes would you tell them your name?

Well… I imagine after ten-to-fifteen minutes, though whether I give them my real name depends on whether I like them.

2. You’re the first person to enter the movie theatre. Which seat do you choose and why?

I’m inclined to drift towards the back, and preferably middlish, though close enough to an aisle to escape swiftly if I need to pee.

3. If you were to navigate a giant maze with one celebrity, who would it be and why do you think you’d work well together?

I’d choose Keanu Reeves. He’s a good listener, he’s got good awareness and if I tell him someone threatened his dog, he will tear the maze apart with his bare hands to get us out.

4. Eggs can be cooked in many different ways. Pick one and build a meal around it. What is included in that meal?

I do love me a fried egg as part of a fry-up (including bacon, sausages and toast), but is it creative enough? Does that even matter if I’m building a meal for myself?

I’d choose the fry-up, but if I wanted to be fancy, I’d have a go at poaching an egg, then delicately laying it on top of a fry-up… complete with a fried egg.

5. Select the task you’d be able to complete the fastest and explain why:
A) Blow up (with your mouth) and tie 3 balloons
or
B) Pop 150 balloons with a thumbtack

Since I’m useless at blowing (give me strength), and hapless at tying, I’d have to pick B. I’d tear through those balloons with glee. If I did pick A, we’d be at it until… well… forever.

6. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is a talk show hosted by Jerry Seinfeld. Using the same format for the title (Ex. Poodles on Patios Getting Crumbs), what would be the name of your talk show?

Well, Meerkats on Mars Getting Murdered is an interesting title, but it’s unlikely to gain much traction as a talk show, since I can’t get to Mars and killing your guests is seen as poor form.

7. Arthur is an animated educational television series for children. What are 5 television shows you watched as a child?

In my formative years I watched shows like Button Moon, and as I got older I watched Transformers, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles (as they were known for a time), Star Trek: The Next Generation (not a kids show but I loved it) and I loosely followed Power Rangers.

8. Pillows provide support and help keep our upper body aligned during sleep. What is the strangest place you’ve ever fallen asleep? Tell the story, if there is one.

I don’t have any creative answers to this one. I don’t think I’ve successfully slept anywhere except a bed. I guess you could say plane seat, but I didn’t really sleep as such.

9. “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” is a song by the band, Tears for Fears. If you could be in charge of anything, what would it be?

Right now, I’d love to be in charge of the UK. It would be a chance to undo some of the damage done by an utterly useless government. I could rant at length about this, but I won’t, out of respect for the reader!

10. Your closet is a portal to a new “location” (think: wardrobe to Narnia), where does it lead to? What do you see?

I could give so many answers to this. The TARDIS from Doctor Who. The Enterprise from TNG. Hyrule from The Legend of Zelda. Each world would hold wonders that I have dreamed about seeing with my own eyes. I guess with the TARDIS you could potentially punch holes in dimensions to visit other realms, so it has to be that.

On to the Bonus Round!

1. Please enter the correct 6-digit passcode to successfully escape this quiz.

My pin number is… ooh, nearly! Um… 111111?

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