After two weeks Meerkovia has won… zero medals. There will be a major inquest into this travesty when the games are over. Heads will roll. Ears will be tweaked. Beds will be left unmade. Someone will pay.

But, before this can happen, there’s the little matter of week three, and another chance for Meerkovia’s athletes to earn some form of redemption.

1. Which way do I like the toilet paper roll to hang?
A) Over
B) Under

A. Because only psychopaths choose under, and Paul isn’t not a psycho.

2. Sandwiches taste better when they are…
A) Not Cut
B) Cut Diagonally

Hmm. My personal preference is not cut, but there is something about those dainty triangles… so B.

3. When it comes to watching shows on TV, do I like to watch them…
A) Live
B) Later (Recorded)

Watching live removes the possibility of spoilers, which is a growing problem in this day and age. On the other hand, recording TV allows for the luxury of watching at a time that’s convenient. We lead increasingly busy lives that we want – need – to organise according to our own schedule. For that reason, I am saying B.

4. Would I rather…
A) Stay Up Late
B) Wake Up Early

In theory both these options grant you more time to get things done during the day. In practice, getting up early is more likely to let you do that. The brain – my brain at least – is wired to be more productive early on. That’s why I’m saying B.

5. Though I like both, which fries do I like more?
A) Wendy’s
B) McDonald’s

I can’t speak for Wendy’s as it’s an unknown quantity for me. McDonald’s fries are quite good, though there are other fries I prefer. I’ll have to say McDonald’s here, by virtue of being completely unfamiliar with the other option.

6. I like to sleep on my…
A) Side
B) Back
C) Stomach

Argh! This one is tough. I toss and turn a lot before falling asleep. The most comfortable position for me is my stomach, so I’m gonna assume Paul is the same and say C.

7. When drinking from a small milk carton, do I…
A) Use A Straw
B) Not Use A Straw

A. Because it’s so much easier.

8. I prefer a desk chair…
A) Without Arm Rests
B) With Arm Rests

Hmm… because I have no idea, B.

9. Which do I prefer on my feet in the summer?
A) Shoes
B) Sandals

Um… because I haven’t got a clue, B.

10. Which type of book do I enjoy more?
A) Fiction
B) Non-Fiction

Paul is a learned man, who knows a lot of facts, so I’m saying B.