Dear Ladies,
— Brian Sauvé (@Brian_Sauve) February 7, 2022
There is no reason whatsoever for you to post pictures of yourself in low cut shirts, bikinis, bra and underwear, or anything similar—ever.
Not to show your weight loss journey.
Not to show your newborn baby.
Not to document your birth story.
-Your Brothers
OK, I’ll grant for a moment that I may be a bit biased here. After all, I’m a red-blooded man. However, my bias ends with the belief (one that Brian seems to tacitly hold) that I am a base creature, who is completely unable to resist the shapely form of woman.
This is the implication of Brian’s words. His suggestion is that women must dress modestly, because men are incapable of reason or control should a woman appear wearing anything more revealing than a sackcloth. Is he really so unable to refrain himself from his urges that instead he has to demand women everywhere conform to his standard of modesty? What is he afraid of? That his inner lust monster will take over and force him to do something inappropriate?
This is about blame. It’s the same old story. It is used all the time to justify – or at least mitigate – the responsibility of men for their own actions. ‘That woman’s dress was short, therefore my client felt she was leading him on and enticing him. My client was not in control of himself because of her outfit, and therefore the law should be lenient’. Such an argument should have been confined to the bin a very long time ago, it’s what Brian is saying, whether he fully means it or not. The effort to shift responsibility for sexual misconduct – be it violent crime such as rape or be it infidelity – onto the woman’s shoulders has been pushed onto us for centuries. The Bible and other religious texts have been vehicles for this idea, and people like Brian continue to push this agenda.
What is Brian expecting. On a blisteringly hot day should women dress for the weather or should they worry that a weak-minded man might get aroused and be unable to contain himself? Should a woman’s outfit be seen as an excuse for such behaviour? Is that reasonable to Brian? He demeans men and women by thinking along such lines. His message fails to teach men to be responsible for their own actions. It is unfair to force women to be held accountable for a man’s inability to behave. We should put such notions to the bonfire.
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poor dear Brian, just a lil’ failure who can’t control himself. Let me guess, a conservative Christian, who wants to be like those lil’ boys in muslim countries.
Happily, most men aren’t such pathetic whiners.
What’s even worse is how many people seem to agree with him. They won’t come out and say it, but it’s clear this is about control, and evasion of responsibility.
His thinking is quite common among Evangelicals. I’ve written about it numerous times. Evangelical teens and men are helpless, pathetic horn dogs who seemingly have no control over their sexuality. The mere view of cleavage or ass turns them creatures who can’t control their “lustful” thoughts and actions.
There’s a denial of normal, healthy sexual among Evangelical men (and women too). Of course, Jesus started this mess when he said that if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he’s committed adultery with her in his heart. The mere look becomes as heinous “sin.” As atheists, my wife and I appreciate that we can “look” without feeling guilt and shame. We’ve had a number of conversations about the type of people we find attractive. No worries about lust, adultery, etc. Just friendly banter about … do you find ____________ actor/actress attractive. What, you don’t like Jude Law? I can even say that I find Jude Law attractive . . .
Evangelicalism really messed us up, crippling our sexuality. It’s been fun (and challenging) discovering who we really are, what we like/dislike. I’m still thinking about becoming a stripper, a Santa pole dancer. We are soooo going to hell.
I dare say it’s a cultural thing rooted in organised religion full-stop. I’m not aware of any organised faith that doesn’t practice some form of demand for women to cover up and behave submissively to their husbands. From the dawn of civilisation, all across the world, there has been the idea that women are secondary to men, and they are there to service a man’s needs (be they sexual or otherwise). Marry to that the idea that women are responsible for a man’s inability to control themselves if they a tiny bit of flesh (I saw alleged footage of Saudi Arabia’s Olympic footage, with black bars covering all the women athlete’s bare legs, arms etc), and you have a recipe for oppressive cultures and an attitude of blame the victim.