I felt a bit frayed today. There’s a little pit of worry, anxiety, in my chest, not helped by a trip to the supermarket that saw people getting in my way nearly every single time I went to grab what I needed. The longer this situation continues, the more I suspect it will unsettle me. I’m a bit stressed, wanting to go back to work, to get into my… my role, I guess, of breadwinner.
I don’t tend to define myself by such a stereotypical role, but in my household, I am the breadwinner, not to mention going to work, spending time with my colleagues and doing a good job is something that can feel rewarding. All of that has been put on hold, suspended, with no clear picture as to when normal service will resume.
Even more important, when do I see family and friends again? My parents would normally visit every so often, and I’d see my father-in-law in town from time to time. There are close friends I haven’t seen in an age, not to mention my brother, and particularly my extended family. The normal diversions and distractions are gone as well, as two of my favourite pastimes, football and Formula 1, are on hold.
So, yeah, I’m not feeling completely myself. I’m trying not to let it all get to me, but life is uncertain right now. We can’t even spend the day at the park, or go to the cinema, or out for a meal at a restaurant. It’s all so weird.
I guess this has yielded some… I don’t know if I can call them positives, but some new things. We’ve been more creative at dinner time. I’ve put some time and effort into my stories, and into my drawings. These can’t be bad things. I just want a bit of normality to return.