The Thinking ‘Kat: A Forced Cup of Tea
Picture the scene. You are running a drinks stand, and you offer a passer-by a cup of tea. The person politely refuses. What should happen next is that you accept this. However, you firmly believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that this person needs a cup of tea. You walk after them, speaking of the benefits of tea. They politely refuse again, a touch of irritation in their voice. It is clear they do not wish for tea. What should you do now?
A reasonable person acknowledges the person’s preference, and moves on. You don’t. You’re getting irate, remonstrating with your reluctant customer that they are being foolish and ignorant by not at least trying your tea. ‘I’ve had tea before, and I didn’t like it, please stop offering it,’ they urge you. ‘Well, this tea isn’t like other tea, it’s better, I know it is, it’s superior to other teas, it will definitely do you a world of good, stop being foolish and ignorant by not trying it.’
It should not come as a surprise that your combative attitude has raised the hackles of your would-be customer. They are now a combination of perplexed and annoyed, wondering why you are pursuing them, and baffled by how you believe your aggressive stance will persuade them that your tea is somehow better than anyone else’s, even if they drunk the stuff.
‘If you don’t drink this tea, your health will suffer, and you will die,’ you claim. Their eyes widen, a mixture of shock and fury on their faces. Incredulity is the buzzword now. You are now furious yourself. You cannot believe this person will not even try your tea! You absolutely know your tea is better than the other teas this fool has tried, and you now make that clear to them, as well as how much of a fool they are for not trusting you or your tea. You berate them, all in the name of opening their eyes to the glory of your tea, unable to understand why they can’t comprehend the obvious.
What you should do is back off. This person is not interested, and you are clearly annoying them. Engaging with them is also aggravating you, so it’s a lose-lose scenario, yet you feel compelled to continue to force your tea at them. You still fail to understand their inability to grasp what you know, and you cannot understand why they are not cowing and bowing to your righteous fury. You make it your mission to make this idiot understand why your tea is so great, turning this into your personal crusade. Others observe this, question your rage, but you know you are right. You just need everyone to accept you are right, that your tea is fantastic, and can cure what ails ya. Why is no one falling for your fury?!
Excellent analogy, Ben.