Meerkat Prompts: Dyspraxia
I’ve briefly touched upon this before, but I thought it could be something explored in more detail. I have dyspraxia (not to be confused with dyslexia), a condition that affects motor skills (throw a ball at me, and the odds are I’ll fail to catch it), as well as organisation and concentration.
Dyspraxia is thought to affect five percent of the human population, so for once, I am in a rather unique category, lucky me. It has no bearing on intelligence, but when I read as to how dyspraxia can affect self-esteem, I instantly understood how that felt. I have often felt that I have to work twice as hard to achieve half the result, and that is because I have to battle my own brain chemistry. Something is misfiring in my head, and it will never, ever stop misbehaving. There is no cure, and not really any treatment.
This is not to say that dyspraxia renders someone an invalid, because it doesn’t. With occupational therapy, it can be managed. I can at times be clumsy, but I try to focus on what I am doing. Whether or not it offers any help, I take pills designed to aid concentration. These are ‘off the shelf’ vitamin pills, found in supermarkets, so their effectiveness is possibly nothing more than a placebo effect, but I’ll take that as a win, if they work. Still, there are plenty of days where I find my mind wandering in daft directions. I might be thinking about something specific, trying to follow a thread about, let’s say, a character I’m developing for a book, and within a few minutes, the idea is gone, washed away on a current of completely unrelated notions (such as, do honeybees and bumblebees get along?).
It’s also quite a chaotic journey from the book idea, to the bee question. It’s a rollercoaster.
Because of my scatty mind, I have certainly doubted myself. I have questioned my abilities. I have wondered if I am in fact stupid. At times, I have berated myself, even hated myself, though the more I come to understand what dyspraxia is, the more I realise I am not stupid. Uncoordinated, and at times unfocused, but stupid? No.
I have managed to forge stable careers, loving relationships, and overcome hurdles. I have published books. I have achieved more than I thought I could. Dyspraxia is a source of endless frustration, but it is not insurmountable.
