Meerkat Prompts: Teenagers
We were all teenagers once, so we all know what it means to be a teenager. It’s a confusing time, when you sit on the cusp of adulthood, yet you are not quite ready for it. Emotions and hormones are in a state of turmoil. It’s entirely possible to get a bit rebellious, as you seek a bit of independence. It can be a challenging time.
The teenage years for me were not especially traumatic, though there were moments I would rather forget. The awkward physical changes, and at times feeling misunderstood, are part of the human condition of being a teen. Discovering the opposite sex in earnest was… an event. Not feeling remotely good enough to actually attract a girlfriend was another event.
As an adult, I have embraced my geekiness. I am wholeheartedly a geek, and I do not care who knows it. As a teenager, reputation is everything, and being a geeky, gangly kid who felt awkward left me not exactly exuding confidence. I wouldn’t go as far as to say my self-esteem was poor, but I wasn’t super-thrilled with the hand dealt to me. The trouble is, as a teen you can’t get away from other teens, because you’re at school, surrounded by your peers. Schools tend to have social orders, and let’s face it, teenagers can be fiery, cruel, and emotional. A whole bunch of hormonal teens, where reputation and social standing are everything? Not exactly a glorious time for me.
Seeing it all through adult eyes, I shake my head. My daughter is a teenager, and I am quite certain she is going through all the same emotions I went through, plus some different emotions that are the result of her being a girl. There are different pressures on teenage girls and teenage boys, albeit with some overlap. It can seem silly to watch it all unfold with the distance of time, but I try not to trivialise what she’s experiencing. It matters to her, just as it matters to every teenager. Patience is a virtue and patience is what’s sorely needed during this time.
I try to give my daughter room to be herself. I also try to make sure she knows that I am always open to talking, and without judgement. It isn’t always easy. Whilst she is not inclined to throw tantrums and slam doors, there are nonetheless times when she can be surly. I was the same, so I can relate. It is all-too-easy to snap, to get annoyed, and sometimes I do, because I too am only human. For the most part though, I try to be relaxed and calm with her, and I think that works. I do not want to be draconian, and by giving my daughter the time and space to grow into who she is, I don’t tend to have a need to be.
Going through the teenage years is all about finding one’s own identity and own voice. Guidance and communication are key, but never dictating. Love is vital. Calm, patient love is crucial. Love is the soothing balm for any stress. Let love be the language you use when dealing with teenagers.
‘Kat Comments