Meerkat Prompts: Fragile Masculinity
I popped this into an upcoming Meerkat Muse, as it reflects a direct and rather entertaining moment that happened when bringing my daughter home the other day, but the subject is too good to pass up.
I was walking through the local shopping centre with my daughter, when we happened to stroll by a jeweller’s that specialises in ladies’ jewellery. Inside there were a few women, chatting among themselves and also with the staff. Outside was a guy with a pram. As my daughter and I headed by, the man loudly declared that he would rather wait outside than enter a woman’s shop. I walked on for a bit, then remarked to my daughter that this bloke was an example of fragile masculinity.
What was the problem? Was he fearful that by stepping over the threshold of this shop, other men would stop and laugh at him? Was he worrying that his balls would shrivel up and fall off? Did he expect to leave the shop no longer in possession of his man card? What exactly was the issue with setting foot in the jewellery shop, other than a self-made matter of image? I could not help but believe this whole affair was ridiculous, and yet I’m pretty sure this bloke is not alone in his attitude.
I can only assume that the problem is down to misplaced anxiety, and a strong belief in stereotypical roles. I wonder if this man would think it degrading to have to peg clothes out on the line, or do the washing up? What does he think of changing a nappy, or running the vacuum cleaner around? It certainly feels as though he has a deeply-held belief of what constitutes masculine activities, and like I said, he is not alone. There are plenty of men out there with weak egos, who shore themselves up with more toxic displays of masculinity. Whilst society certainly has changed in some regards, in others there remains a great deal of inertia, and the idea that men have to be hard, unyielding, aggressive creatures that take what they want is one that is hard to detach from.
Masculinity can incorporate strength, and resilience, and power. It can incorporate ferocity, when it comes to protecting what we love (and of course, femininity can incorporate these things too). It can also incorporate kindness, compassion, honesty, and so much more. There is nothing to suggest it can only be for harsh, grating emotions. We should be looking beyond the conditions where a man is afraid to go into a woman’s jewellery shop, for fear of his reputation, and I dare say that most men – and women – would have no opinion, one way or another, of a man walking into such a shop. I for one would not care, and I would stroll into such a place without hesitation.
You really do have to wonder why outdated stereotypes continue to hold any weight in the 21st Century.
