Time for a little of introspective musings. Maybe it will do some good to vent some steam. It certainly can’t hurt right? So here goes…
I am fast approaching the completion of my first year at my ‘new’ job, which is a very different change of pace to what I was used to before. There’s a big difference in terms of targets and there is a huge raft of KPIs to think about. There’s only one which can influence job security, but naturally there is pressure to do well in other areas too. I have been feeling that pressure lately, with the sensation of weight on my shoulders and a general sense of unease. Sometimes that fades – good days at work outweigh the bad and one definite truth is that this job pays better than the old one – other times it can feel worse. Stress is an inevitable truth of adulthood and it’s important to remember it’s all relative too – some people can sail through situations that others find very stressful – that doesn’t make said situation trivial to the person finding it hard to deal with.
I think part of my personal situation is that I am trying to run before I can walk. There are people in the store who are firmly established as being great at getting a lot of business and marrying that quantity with quality. For me, both areas have been somewhat hit and miss and this is proving frustrating, but comparing myself to long–established people of great experience in the company is not doing myself any favours. Learning to relax and be comfortable in my own skin is an on-going lesson that I imagine I will never stop learning.
There’s one other little lesson here – as this job pays entirely in commission and nothing else, everyone is ultimately in it for themselves. Ruthless is not a word my friends and family would use to describe me, but it might be necessary.