I had to do some thinking here. I considered whether or not this post would be a better fit for the Meerkat Prompts series, but decided the subject matter, and my views on it, were more appropriate for The Thinking ‘Kat, so here we are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The inspiration behind this post comes from the comments section over at Insanity Bytes<\/a>. This post relates to Andrew Tate, a name a lot of us have heard, whether we want to or not. Tate has become a well-known figure in the ‘manosphere’, and has openly promoted misogynistic viewpoints, as well as trumping up his own version of masculinity. He has become celebrated among self-styled ‘alphas’, despite (or perhaps even because of) his outspoken<\/a> views on women. There are many other claims and comments regarding Tate, including some extremely dubious commentary he himself has made.<\/p>\n\n\n\n All of this is before we get to his current legal situation, which involves active criminal investigations into violence against women, across three countries. I absolutely believe in innocent until proven guilty, but equally, I believe victims do not deserve to be shamed into silence, nor blamed for the crimes against them. Are we to assume that each and every one of the women coming forward about Tate is a liar? Is that <\/strong>reasonable?<\/p>\n\n\n\n All of this is to examine the notion of \u2018real\u2019 men. What defines masculinity, and how do we distinguish between positive masculine traits, and toxic masculine traits? Is it a positive masculine traits to consider women as sex objects, there to serve the desires and whims of men? I\u2019d argue this is an extremely <\/strong>negative characteristic, yet to listen to Tate, this is very much what he believes. Despite these rather abhorrent values (evidence of which is plentiful), Tate not only has plenty of male support, he also has the support of some women as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I keep sidetracking myself. What defines a \u2018real\u2019 man? Is it raw, physical strength and appearance? Is it the ability to coerce and intimidate and manipulate others, especially women, into serving their needs and wants? Does the definition rest in rigidly-defined gender roles and behaviour? How often do we still <\/strong>hear the expression \u2018big boys don\u2019t cry\u2019? Does it make a man more \u2018manly\u2019 if they repress their emotions? Are you only deemed manly if you come home stinking of sweat and motor oil, following your day of physical toil?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cards on the table. I am not a superb specimen of physical strength, and I dare say I\u2019m not an oil painting either. I have never been especially sporty, and nor have I been inclined to be. I am not great at a lot of physical labour. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I do however go to work, five days a week, every week, sometimes despite feeling ill, or miserable, or stressed. I don\u2019t flinch from my responsibility to my wife and daughter, namely to keep a roof over their heads, and food in their bellies. Is how I accomplish this less important than accomplishing it, in terms of manliness? Does it matter that I am not in the gym every day after work? Would it be somehow praiseworthy if I\u2019d had a string of flings before meeting my wife? Should I have stamped my \u2018man card\u2019 with stories of how I\u2019d treated women like sex objects?<\/p>\n\n\n\n